It’s been ages and ages since I’ve really felt like writing a post and I’m sure the neglect here is obvious. Plenty has gone on in the interim, well at on and off actually. I have a few things I feel the need to write about, and due to the varied topics will try to keep them in separate posts.
I’ll start off with the one that reoccurs periodically over the years, and that is the persistent feeling of being stuck at a fork in the road. To stay or to go. If stay how to fix whats wrong, and if go, where to and why. The key bit is the need for change. This has come up often enough that I know it’s a temporary thing, and the resulting action is just a distraction, an abberation from the mean. It’s a combination of a motivation/reward thing and a happiness thing.
The other thing is it’s always on multiple fronts concurrently. If it was just one thing it’s usually easy to figure out a way forward and just plod on. When it’s more than one it’s difficult to pick what to work on first or even spot the interdependencies between them. Correlation doesn’t imply causality, it could just be dumb luck.
Previously I’ve tried to escape it by trying new things and simplifying. Don’t take on too much at once. Focus on what matters. That sort of thing. The things you own end up owning you. The only snag with all of that is it can be difficult to find motivation to adjust course. It’s like life and routine is a large ship, and trying to influence it’s direction takes sustained directed effort. Simplifying takes dedication to work through something, but it’s frequently worth it and is an ongoing process. Clutter feeds itself both physically and logically. Likewise changes to routine can be beneficial for many ways and also takes dedication and motivation.
The snag I’ve currently hit is mostly a lack of direction and motivation. Sticking in a holding pattern doesn’t achieve anything and just seems to fuel the downward spiral. It’s been same old-same old for too long and somethings going to give.